Supporting a loved one in recovery from an eating disorder during the holidays can be challenging, as this time often includes food-centric gatherings and added stress. Here are some ways you can help create a supportive and compassionate environment for your loved one:
1. Plan Ahead Together
Talk with your loved one beforehand to understand their needs, triggers, and comfort levels around holiday gatherings.
Collaborate on a plan, including when to arrive, how long to stay, and what foods may be on the menu. This can help them feel more in control and reduce anxiety.
Encourage them to plan ahead with their treatment team, too, identifying coping strategies they can use and ways to communicate their needs with you in the moment.
2. Be a Safe Space
Offer non-judgmental support. Let them know they can check in with you if they’re feeling overwhelmed or need a break.
Ask them if you can check in with them, too.
Avoid commenting on their food choices, amounts, or appearance, and encourage other family members to do the same.
3. Shift the Focus Away from Food
Plan a balance of holiday activities that don’t revolve around food, such as games, movie nights, or holiday crafts. This helps create positive memories without food pressure.
Gently guide conversations away from dieting, weight, or body image topics, which can be especially triggering during the holidays.
4. Encourage Self-Care Breaks
Suggest breaks throughout the day for quiet time, fresh air, or journaling. These breaks can help reduce stress and provide moments of calm.
Offer to go for a walk or engage in other mindful activities together to help them feel supported without any focus on food or exercise as “compensation.”
5. Validate Their Feelings
Holidays can bring up complex emotions for someone in recovery. Let them know it’s okay to feel anxious, sad, or frustrated, and validate those feelings without trying to "fix" them.
Encourage your loved one to journal and share their thoughts and feelings with their support system and their team of specialists.
Listen actively and be present, showing that their well-being is your priority and that you are unconditionally there for them.
6. Set Realistic Expectations
Understand that recovery is a journey, and your loved one might not feel “perfect” during the holidays. Set realistic goals, and celebrate small victories, like attending a family meal or trying a new coping strategy.
Remind them that it’s okay to prioritize their mental health and make choices that support their recovery, even if that means stepping back from certain activities.
If a relapse occurs let them know that recovery isn't perfect and direct them to their treatment team for additional support.
7. Reach Out for Extra Support
If you’re unsure how best to support your loved one, consider consulting with their treatment team or a therapist for specific guidance. Attending family sessions during the holidays can provide additional support and guidance for everyone.
Encourage them to reach out to their support network and treatment team as needed. The holidays can be an ideal time to have extra resources in place.
8. Create a Code Word or Signal for Support
Establish a discreet code word or signal that your loved one can use to communicate if they’re feeling triggered, anxious, or need support. This provides them a way to express discomfort without drawing attention or causing them additional stress.
When they use the code, offer immediate support or suggest a quick change of scenery, such as stepping outside for fresh air or having a quiet conversation in a separate room.
9. Avoid “Holiday Pressure”
Avoid putting pressure on your loved one to participate in everything or to feel a certain way. Remind them it’s okay to step back, say no, or spend time alone if they need it.
Allow them to express any feelings of exhaustion or overstimulation, acknowledging that self-care might mean skipping certain activities.
10. Practice Compassion and Patience
Recovery can be a long and challenging journey. Be patient, and avoid any statements that may sound dismissive or encourage them to “just enjoy” the food or celebration. As we know, recovery takes time and is not simple.
Show compassion, emphasizing that there is no pressure to do or be anything other than themselves. Remind them you’re there for them, no matter what.
Your care and understanding can be a powerful source of comfort for someone recovering from an eating disorder, helping them feel less alone and more empowered during the holiday season.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out for help. Recovery is possible and support is available! No one has to go through recovery alone. Our team of professionals specialized in eating disorders and our personalized and holistic approach to eating recovery make us a great place to start your healing journey. For more information about our services, please contact us today at info@homeforbalance.com or call us at 561.600.1424 for a FREE 30-minute consult!
Below is a free list of books that support eating recovery.
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